Assimilation, Roots, and Belonging
- yesenia777
- Jul 23
- 2 min read
Updated: Sep 18
This past weekend, people across Mexico and the U.S. celebrated El Grito de Independencia, Mexico’s Independence Day. For many of us who are first-generation or bicultural, holidays like this can bring up a mix of pride and grief. Pride in where we come from. Grief in noticing the distance that has grown between us and our roots.
I’ll be honest, about a month ago a family member told me I was “whitewashed.” The comment stung. It made me feel like I wasn’t “Mexican enough” for my family, and at the same time, I never felt fully “American enough” either. That’s the confusing reality of assimilation: it asks us to give up parts of ourselves just to survive or fit in.
What is assimilation?
Assimilation is the process of adapting to the dominant culture in order to belong. For many immigrants and first-generation children, it’s not really a choice… it’s a survival strategy. It might look like:
Hiding or being embarrassed about speaking Spanish in public.
Changing the way you pronounce your name so others can “get it right.”
Avoiding bringing certain foods to school.
Downplaying traditions, accents, or clothing that make you stand out.
Over time, assimilation can make us feel disconnected from our culture, family, and even ourselves. It can leave us stuck in a painful in-between space, where no matter where we are, we feel like an outsider.
Why it matters
Being called “whitewashed” or “not enough” can hurt deeply, because it reinforces the pressure to choose between identities that are both true to us. Assimilation often comes with guilt, especially if we’re told we’ve abandoned our culture or roots. But the reality is: assimilation was never about betrayal. For many of us, it was about surviving.
The beauty is, healing is possible. We can begin to reconnect with the parts of us that were hidden away. Here are some ways other people and I reclaim our roots:
Language: Practicing Spanish (or your native language) with friends, family, or even apps. Without shame.
Music: Listening to the music you or your parents grew up listening to can be so nostalgic, and can help reconnect to your roots.
Food: Cooking traditional meals, learning family recipes, or hosting potlucks that celebrate culture.
Community: Finding local cultural events, organizations, or online groups that feel affirming.
Storytelling: Asking elders to share stories, traditions, and wisdom.
Therapy: Processing the pain of assimilation, identity, and belonging in a safe, validating space.
Assimilation may have been necessary for survival, but it doesn’t have to be the end of our story. This Mexican Independence Day reminded me that freedom isn’t just about nations; it’s also about liberating ourselves from shame, disconnection, and the belief that we aren’t “enough.” In therapy, we can explore what it means to reconnect with your roots, honor your identity, and create a sense of belonging that feels authentic to you. If you’d like support on that journey, I’d be honored to walk alongside you.
You can press the button below to either contact me or schedule a free 20-minute consultation.
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